This blog is the last part of a 4-part blog series about Ways To Help Your Teenager Manage His Anger. At least three ideas will be discussed here in a concise manner, which are ideas from other parents who have successfully helped their teen act positively and less angry whenever conflict issues arise.
Encourage Your Teen To Talk About Their Negative Feelings.
You are here to help your teen address his anger issues, and not suppress it. When your teen is angry, you have to let him come to terms with it. He has to let it out – but as a parent, how can you assist your super angry teen in releasing his furiousness in a very healthy manner? Let your teen talk about his negative feelings to you. Yes, to you! If not to you, he will turn to his friends, and they often don’t have the right answers to your teen’s anger issues. You, on the other hand, can sway your teen’s erratic decisions based on his anger and help him process it altogether.
According to Marlon Morgan, M.A., LPCC, PPS, “Being an active listener is easier said than done. Parents will need to set aside their own emotional reactions to their child’s issues or concerns.”
Teach Your Teen To Become A Solution Finder And Problem Solver Instead Of Person Blamer.
The usual reaction of teens when they are angry is to blame other people. You, as a parent, can help them eradicate that way of thinking. One parent says that when his teenager is upset about something and starts to get angry, he tries to calm him down by saying – how do we solve this? (The keywords being “we” and “solve.” At times, this parent lets his son solve his problems by himself, which works great!) Anyway, the direction is to find a solution and solve the problem, and not to dwell on the issues or blame others.
Be More Positive To Your Teen In Terms Of Your Words.
When you say negative words all the time with your nagging, (Yes, parents are guilty of this, and they are so blind that they can’t see how their words can pierce the heart and soul of their teen) your teen will be crushed. You have to fix this by saying more positive words instead of nagging and criticizing.
Rachel Velishek, LPCC said “As important as it is to allow your child the time to acknowledge the unpleasant emotions, it is also important to not let them wallow in their sorrows.”
For every negative word that you say, you pay it back with five words complimenting your teen. So for example, if you have said a word that is not nice, and you see your teen brewing with anger, you have to say:
- I’m sorry for saying that. It’s my fault, and I will try my best not to repeat that kind of word.
- You are a very loving individual. I know that for a fact.
- Those drawings are beautiful. You are a very talented artist.
- Your voice is angelic, and with constant practice, you will be at your best.
- You are such a good son/daughter.
These simple words will take a 360-degree turn in your teen’s behavior. Believe me.
In helping your teen with his anger issues, there are no magic pills or incantations needed. You have to be a parent who is understanding, sympathetic, and patient. If you spit gas on a fire, you will get burned. This quote is such cliché, but it is true, mainly when you deal with your teen. And so, if you want your teen to grow up and become a mentally healthy adult, follow these ways. At least, as a parent, you are doing your best to address your concerns with your teen.
Take note that Susan Melendez Doak, LPC said “Leave a situation that is causing you distress, but remember your manners. There’s a difference between taking a break and “blowing out” of a situation.” This is something that you have to share to your child.