According to Megan Yarnall, MA, MFTC, LPCC, “Every day is busy, whether you have one child, or three children, or more. It can be difficult to schedule in time for yourself, or dedicate the money to yourself instead of your kids.”
If you’re a parent of a teenager, you’ll know what I am talking about. Teens are at a phase in their lives wherein they are always right when they deal with you, and if you disagree with them, you are the enemy. If you experience a toddler throwing a tantrum, it is much easier to handle, compared to a teenager unleashing a fit.
But it doesn’t have to be that way all the time and every single day. There are ways for you, as a parent, to “help” your teenager handle his anger. Here are those ways of doing so:
Be The Best Anger Management Model For Your Teen
I know this is hard to do, but students will follow their teachers. Subordinates will follow their leader. Children will follow their parents. This is the reason why you have to channel your anger appropriately and assertively. Teach your teen what “you” do when you are angry – of course, it has to be healthy coping.
Help Your Teen Manage His Anger Appropriately
How can you do that? Anger is a natural response. Everyone gets angry, but not all will display it negatively. Teach your child about anger – that it is normal for people to be angry and that it is okay to get mad at times. There is a big BUT though. Your teen can be angry, but to harm himself and other people through words, and actions are not the right way to express anger.
Amy Topelson, MA, MA, LPC, NCC said “Letting your teen know you love them no matter what goes a long way in building self-esteem.”
Different people manage their anger in various ways. It can be listening to music so that they can calm down. Others sing, dance, workout, kick or punch a boxing bag, run, walk, draw, color pictures, do gardening, clean their room, fix their things, cut their hair, and more. There are so many ways to release anger without having to unleash it on another person violently. Help your teen look for a way to do that.
Guide Your Teen When It Comes To Friendships
Peer pressure is real. Other teens, though they may not be bad kids, they can influence your teen to do naughty things that can promote angry feelings. Guide your teen when it comes to their friends – talking about angry outbursts calmly and in a very adult way. Be understanding even if your heart and mind are colliding in anger towards your teen. Remember, they follow by example – they follow you and their friends!
According to Timothy LaGro, M.A. LMHC, “Some peer pressures have not changed since when I was an adolescent in the early 70’s.”
Set Rules, Provide For Rewards, And Enforce Consequences When Rules Are Broken
You can do this together with your spouse, and you must be one when setting rules, giving the rewards when your teen is doing good, and then enforcing consequences when he breaks the rules. Now, if you’re a single parent, you can also do this by yourself and ask other single parents how they “discipline” their teen. It can give you an idea of how to adequately address your teen’s behavior.
How do you set up rules, rewards, and consequences? These questions might help you:
- What matters are essential for your teen to follow?
- How will you reward your teen for following the rules?
- How will the consequences go down in case he doesn’t stick to the rules?
Use this as your guide in establishing the rules, rewards, and consequences.
This concludes Part 1 of this blog. Next week, I will have more to share when it comes to helping your teenager manage his anger.