Troubled Teen Resources

Alcohol Use
In 2001, 22% of eight graders, 39% of tenth graders, and 50% of twelfth graders reported having used alcohol in the past month.[1] The percentage of students reporting any alcohol use in their lifetime is significantly higher for all age groups. In 2001, 51% of eight graders, 70% of tenth graders, and 80% of twelfth graders reported having used alcohol at least once in their lifetime.[2] Data for twelfth grade students prior to 1990 indicate a drop from 71 percent in 1981 down to 54 percent by 1991.[3] Over the past decade, the percentage of youth in grades 8, 10, and 12 who report drinking alcohol in the past month or year has remained relatively constant.[4]
In 2001, 13% of eighth graders, 25% of tenth graders, and 30% of twelfth graders reported engaging in binge drinking in the last two weeks.[5] Data from 12th graders shows that binge drinking reached its peak in 1979. It held steady for a couple of years and then declined substantially from 41% in 1983 to a low of 28% in 1992. Binge drinking increased slightly among 8th, 10th, and 12th graders in the 1990’s, but there has been a slight decline in recent years.[6]

Marijuana Use
In 2001, 9% of eight graders, 20% of tenth graders, and 22% of twelfth graders reported having used marijuana in the past month.[7] The percentage of students reporting any marijuana use in their lifetime is significantly higher for all age groups. Twice as many students report having used marijuana at some point in their lives than report use in the last month. In 2000, 20 percent of eighth graders, 40 percent of tenth graders, and 49 percent of twelfth graders reported having used marijuana at least once in their lifetime.[8] Marijuana use by twelfth graders declined from 34 percent in 1980 to 12 percent in 1992.[9] Use then rose to 24 percent in 1997 and was 22 percent in 2001.[10] Among eighth and tenth grade students, marijuana use in the past month more than doubled between 1991 and 2001.[11]

Other Illicit Drug Use
Based on reports of use in the past 30 days, among eighth graders the most widely used illicit drugs other than marijuana are inhalants (4.0), amphetamines (3.2 percent), and MDMA (1.8 percent). Among tenth graders, amphetamines are the most widely used illicit drug other than marijuana (5.6 percent), followed by tranquilizers (2.9 percent), and MDMA (2.6 percent). For twelfth graders, amphetamines are the most popular illicit drug other than marijuana (5.6 percent), followed by hallucinogens (3.2 percent), and other narcotics (3.0 percent).[12] The illicit use of drugs in the past month by twelfth graders declined from 16.5 percent in 1980 to 6.0 percent in 1992[13] before rising again to 10.8 percent in 2001.[14] Among eighth and tenth grade students, illicit use of drugs other than marijuana in the past month increased between 1991 and 2001, peaking in 1996.[15]

Teens may be confused by a boyfriend or girlfriend who abuses them and may not know how to deal with a dating partner’s mind games. Threats and rage may be followed by vows of love and pleas for forgiveness.

Teen abuse in dating isn’t just about hurting a partner physically. Bullying, for example, is a form of emotional abuse. Many teens face other types of emotional abuse in the form of:

Teen life, with its fads, crushes, clashes, and breakups, seems to be a world away from abusive relationships. Yet, there’s a dark side to all of the social drama. Many teens go through the same types of abuse—sexual, physical, and emotional—that we know some adults go through.

Dating violence often involves sex. More than one in four female college students say they have suffered rape or attempted rape at least once since age 14. At a large college, more than half of the women surveyed noted some type of unwanted sex, most often from their dates.¹

Such violence can start at an early age. About 1 in 12 eighth and ninth graders suffered sexual violence in dating.²

Still, dating violence is common outside of sexual situations. Studies show that more than one in five high school students and almost one in three college students have been victims of dating violence that did not involve sex. In a study of eighth and ninth graders, one in four reported nonsexual violence in dating.³

Most victims of physical dating violence are females. Seven in 10 pregnant teens report abuse by their partners.⁴ Although female high school and college students are just as likely as male students to inflict dating violence, females most often do it to defend themselves.⁵

Abuse in dating isn’t just about hurting a partner physically. Bullying, for example, is a form of emotional abuse. Many young people face other types of emotional abuse in the form of—

• Name calling
• Blame
• Threats
• Envy
• Anger
• Attempts to control a partner’s dress, activities, and friendships.⁶

Teens may be confused by a boyfriend or girlfriend who abuses them and may not know how to deal with a dating partner’s mind games. Threats and rage may be followed by vows of love and pleas for forgiveness.

Teens may be afraid to break up with their partners out of fear that their partner will hurt them or will harm himself or herself. A teen may want to be there to help a boyfriend or girlfriend, may hope that things will get better, or simply may not realize what can happen. Over time, violence can escalate and teen victims may mistakenly begin to believe that they deserve the abuse.

If you have a teen who is dating, be alert for signs of abuse, both physical and emotional. Outward signs include:

• Having bruises and injuries
• Changing the way they look or dress
• Dropping old friends
• Giving up things they care about.

New friends as well as changes in attitudes, styles, hobbies, and school activities are common in young people. Still, they can be clues that a teen is being controlled by a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Emotional abuse is harder to see than physical abuse, since it happens over time and can take several forms. A young person suffering emotional abuse may become insecure, destructive, angry, or withdrawn. He may abuse alcohol or drugs and may even become suicidal.

If you believe that your child is being abused, talk to her. Ask questions, set limits, and offer advice. She may find it hard to talk about stress in her dating life. So, don’t show anger or push so hard that the she pulls away. Instead, let her know that you respect her views and are there for her. Tell her that you care about her and want her to be safe.

If you believe that your child is abusing his dating partner, confront him about it, and seek expert help.

*We refer to a child as “him” in some places and “her” in others. We do this for easier reading. All information applies to both boys and girls unless otherwise specified.

Sources
¹Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Dating Violence, last referenced 3/11/04.

²Ibid.

³Ibid.

⁴Washington State PTA. Every Teen Counts, last referenced 3/11/04.

⁵National Center for Injury Prevention and Control.

⁶Washington State PTA.

Resources

• Washington State Office of the Attorney General: Teen Dating Violence, FAQ: Relationship Violence—Help for Parents
• The National Women’s Health Information Center: Violence Against Women: Dating Violence

There are many advantages to boarding schools.  A recent study found that boarding schools out performed both public and day schools on a number of factors.  Some of those results are presented here.

This page also provides useful information on how to choose.  There are hundreds if not thousands of boarding schools to choose from. You can eliminate some of the hundreds of choices by determining the factors that are most important to you and your teen. Your teen should be an integral part of this decision making process. Below are some of the factors you will want to consider.

12 hours per week are dedicated to exercising or playing sports in boarding schools compared to about 9 hours in private day and public schools,
35% of current boarding school students spend 7-14 hours per week on non-athletic extracurricular activities like student government and clubs compared to 27% of other students,

Boarding school students spend considerably less time watching television about 3 hours per week, compared to 7 hours among private and day public school students,

about 70% of boarding school students say that boarding school helped them develop self-discipline maturity independence and the ability to think critically,

75% of boarding school students say that their schools provide a supportive environment compared to 50% of public school students,

Only 26 % of boarding school students say that cheating goes on in their school compared to 54% of public school students,

78% of boarding school gradates say they were very well prepared for non-academic aspects of college life,

50% of boarding school graduates earn advanced degrees, compared to 36% of private day school students and 21% of public school students.

Co-ed or single sex?

Where? Though it is always important to be near a source of support, either close friends or relatives, consideration should also be given to connections to airports. Many boarding schools will help with transportation to and from the airport. Do you want your child to be in the U.S. or in Europe or some other location in closer proximity to where you are?

Size? Some schools are intimate, less than 100 students, while others can be 500-1,000, or more.

How many of the students are international? You will discover that the child who grew up in an international environment will often seek out contact with other children who feel not entirely comfortable with the American culture. Whether they are American children brought up overseas or not even American at all; these TCKs (Third Culture Kids) are a unique culture. Not quite American, not quite anything else!

Mostly a day school or mostly boarding? It can make a difference to a child if most of the students are day students or five-day boarders and leave for most weekends. Full-time boarders could be left with few activities and no where to go. If you will not have relatives or friends committed to being available for weekends, be sure you choose a school with lots of weekend activities. Some schools have Saturday morning classes and few weekends or holidays on which they are closed. Some schools have few boarders while others are 100 percent boarding.

Level of support for boarders? How accessible are counselors and staff? How does the communication system work to parents? Who notices that a student needs assistance?

Specialties? Military? Religious preference? Special needs?

Uniforms or special codes of conduct? Dress codes, honor codes, drug testing. Under which guidelines will you and your child be comfortable?

Special offerings for the arts? Performance or enjoyment level?

Sports available? Somewhere, everything is available but the level of play will vary. Are you hoping for an athletic scholarship to a college or pure enjoyment of a lifetime sport?

Range of academics? Every type of school is available, from the most competitive college prep to the more average or supportive environments.

Climate and environment? Just must have a beach? Horses? Skiing? Summer year around? Four seasons? A place of solitude or urban sites and sounds?

Level of technology provided? Many boarding schools are very much a part of the technology age and wired for computers and email. Others are not.

Cost? Your allowance may not cover all the expenses. Most expenses will be paid if you are eligible for an away from post (boarding) education allowance, however, if the school of choice exceeds the average boarding school, or the school has many additional expenses not included in the basic cost, you may find yourself with lots of out of pocket expenses. Distance from the post may also add airfare costs if further than the distances priced. (See FAQ’s for more information on how the allowance is calculated.) You can find the current away from post education allowance in the table of allowances (section 920) on the Office of Allowances web page, http://www.state.gov/m/a/als.

When to make the move? There are a few schools in the U.S. which offer junior boarding (eighth grade and lower) but that is more common in the UK or Europe. Schools in the northeastern U.S. often have the largest influx of students at tenth grade (children attend private day schools through grade nine) while others generally have most students entering at ninth grade. Some schools do not admit seniors. Some schools will accept new mid-year students at any level. One can always ask.

http://www.state.gov/m/dghr/flo/rsrcs/pubs/2037.htm

Perhaps the most well known of these approaches, boot camps for delinquent youths are modeled after military basic training, with a primary focus on discipline. Compared to traditional forms of incarceration, boot camps produced no significant effects on recidivism in three out of four evaluations and trends toward increased recidivism in two. The fourth evaluation showed significant harmful effects on youths, with a significant increase in recidivism.

Boot camps typically focus very narrowly on physical discipline, a highly specific personal skill, rather than a broader range of skills and competencies, such as those addressed by effective programs. Boot camps are also a setting in which youths are exposed to other delinquent youths, who can act as models and positively reinforce delinquent behavior (Dishion et al., 1994).

http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/youthviolence/chapter5/sec6.html

“If a young person wants a piercing or comes home with one, ask why he wants it and how it fits into his self-image and social life.”

So, which is it? Is body piercing a passing phase—part of a personal declaration of independence? Or, does it signal an urge to push social limits and to take risks? The answer is different for each teen. Risk-taking can be a growth experience; the key is to take the right kind of risk. This means taking part in activities that build ability, awareness, and character.

Body piercing has become more and more popular among teens and young adults. Pierced ears have been common for many years. But now, no part of the body seems to be off limits for rings, studs, and bars. Navels, tongues, eyebrows, and nostrils have become popular places for piercings.

Piercing has been around for a long time. It has been used in religious and cultural ceremonies and is common in some cultures around the world. For many of today’s American youth, piercings are fashion statements. Like tattoos, daring clothing, and extreme hair styles, piercing may be a badge of identity.1

Adults may worry that piercing is unsafe, or just plain wrong. They may view it as a sign of delinquency and rejection of traditional values. While this may be true for some teens, others see body piercing as a form of self-expression.

So, which is it? Is body piercing a passing phase—part of a personal declaration of independence? Or, does it signal an urge to push social limits and to take risks? The answer is different for each teen. Risk-taking can be a growth experience; the key is to take the right kind of risk. This means taking part in activities that build ability, awareness, and character.

What To Say

If a young person wants a piercing or comes home with one, ask why he wants it and how it fits into his self-image and social life. Discussion will be more useful than anger or immediate rejection. You may learn something by listening to your teen’s views on the subject and you may get a chance to share your own thoughts.
What To Know

Learn about piercing, including the proper procedures, risks (there’s that word again), and safety issues.2 Having the facts will help you provide guidance and make it tougher for a child to dismiss your concerns. If a child gets a body piercing, remember, the industry is not well-regulated. However, there are professional standards for which some piercers are certified.
What To Do

Urging caution, keeping an eye on behavior, and enforcing rules can go a long way toward helping your teen make healthy choices. Prevention is about more than stopping problem behavior. Channeling a young person’s search for adventure can yield great results. Exposing teens to people, places, and ideas can open them up to a world of opportunity, but that world is different for each teen. For many young people, body piercing is a decision to try something new and may satisfy their appetites for adventure.

Lemonade isn’t what it used to be, at least not for a growing number of teenagers. Lemonade joins a host of other sweet drinks, including teas and colas, that are being mixed with alcohol in a popular drinking trend—alcopops.

Also called clear malts, flavored malt beverages, malternatives, or RTDs (as in “ready to drink”), alcopops are sweet, sugary alcoholic drinks. They combine a sweet flavor with the kick of malt liquor to create a taste that often appeals to teens. With cool colors and names to match, alcopops can be a soft entry into the hard world of alcohol.

For the alcohol industry, grouping alcopops with beer—instead of liquor—opens the door to easier advertising. The broadcast industry (unlike cable) has banned liquor ads, but beer faces no such exile. In fact, TV beer ads are among the most widely anticipated and remembered ads during sports events such as the Superbowl.

Because alcopops are technically beer, they can be advertised on network TV. This means that the liquor industry is placing its logos, colors, and brand names in front of millions of viewers, including teens. In fact, 73 percent of the teens surveyed in a poll conducted by the Center for Science in the Public Interest had seen TV ads for alcoholic drinks, and most of the teens recalled alcopop ads.1 Recalling alcopop ads seems to be linked with drinking alcopops—more than half of 12th graders said they drank alcopops in 2003.2

One of the ways you can help your teen wise up to alcohol marketing is to use alcopop ads as a starting point to talk to your kids. Capture a “teachable moment.” Ask your teen—

1. What do you think of the ad?
2. What audience do you think the ad is trying to reach?
3. What kind of effects might the product have on the person who drinks it?

As you talk about alcopop ads with your teen, beware of the popular argument that alcopops aren’t as strong as other forms of alcohol. Actually, a 12-ounce alcopop, a 12-ounce mug of beer, a cocktail with 1.5 ounces of spirits, and a 5-ounce glass of wine have the same amount of alcohol and cause the same effects. The only difference between alcopops and other forms of alcohol is the taste. Many people, especially teens, don’t like the bitter taste of most alcoholic drinks and will turn to the sweet flavor of alcopops instead. The sugary taste often entices people to drink and can result in people drinking too much, especially on hot summer days.

Make sure you talk to your kids about alcopops—and then make some old-fashioned lemonade together. The original is still the best summertime treat!

Sources
1 Center for Science in the Public Interest. 7/16/02, Kids in the Crosshairs of Big Booze: New Data Prove Teens Tuning In to Booze-Branded Alcopop Ads Despite Industry’s Self-Enforced Ad “Standards,” last referenced 6/28/04.

2 Johnston, L. D., O’Malley, P. M., Bachman, J. G., & Schulenberg, J. E. (2004). Monitoring the Future national results on adolescent drug use: Overview of key findings, 2003. (NIH Publication No. 04-5506). Bethesda, MD: National Institute on Drug Abuse. National Institute on Drug Abuse NIH Publication No. 04-5506 Printed June 2004.
From: The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: Tips for Teens: The Truth About Alcohol

Alcohol used in adolescence is associated with psychological distress and depression.

# Among 12- to 17-year-olds who were current drinkers, 31 percent exhibited extreme levels of psychological distress and 39 percent exhibited serious behavioral problems.1

# Twelve- to sixteen-year-old girls who were current drinkers were four times more likely than their nondrinking peers to suffer depression.2

# In a recent CSAT study, 48 percent of women in treatment for substance abuse had been sexually abused.3

The severity of behavioral problems in adolescents is significantly associated with increased likelihood of adolescent alcohol use.

# Past-month alcohol use was reported by approximately 14 percent of adolescents with low levels of behavioral problems, by 23 percent of those with intermediate problem scores, and by 38 percent of those with significant behavioral problems.4

Alcohol drinkers aged 12 to 17 years

# Adolescents with serious behavioral problems were nearly three times more likely to use alcohol than those with low levels of behavioral problems.5

There is a link between suicide and alcohol use in adolescents.

# Twenty-eight percent of suicides by children ages 9 to 15 could be attributed to alcohol.6

# Using a national school sample, a study reported that suicide attempts among heavy-drinking adolescents were three to four times greater than among abstainers.7

Adolescents struggling with serious emotional disturbances (SED) face even greater challenges when they use alcohol.

# Adolescents with high levels of SED were nearly twice as likely as adolescents with low levels of SED to have used alcohol in the past month.8

# Adolescents with high levels of SED were five times as likely as those with low levels of SED to report alcohol dependence.9

Co-occurring disorders prompt new federal action.

# Seven to ten million Americans have at least one mental disorder in addition to an alcohol or drug disorder.

# A 5-year blueprint for action to improve recovery chances by increasing quality prevention, diagnosis, and treatment for people with co-occurring disorders was just sent to Congress by Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson.10

1Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), Office of Applied Studies. The Relationship Between Mental Health and Substance Abuse Among Adolescents. (SMA) 99-3286. Rockville, MD: SAMHSA, 1999.

2 Hanna EZ, Hsiao-ye Y, Dufour MC, et al. The relationship of drinking and other substance use alone and in combination to health and behavior problems among youth ages 12-16: Findings from the Third National Health and Nutrition Survey (NHANES III). Paper presented at the 23rd Annual Scientific Meeting of the Research Society on Alcoholism, June 24-29, 2000, Denver, CO.

3Burgdorf K, Chen X, Herrell J. The prevalence and prognostic significance of sexual abuse in substance abuse treatment of women. Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (CSAT), 2001.

4 SAMHSA. The Relationship Between Mental Health and Substance Abuse Among Adolescents.

5Ibid.

6Unpublished data extrapolated by National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism from State Trends in Alcohol Mortality, 1979- 1992; US Alcohol Epidemiolgic Data Reference Manual, Volume 5. Rockville, MD: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 1996.

7Windle M, Miller-Tutzauer C, Domenico D. Alcohol use, suicidal behavior, and risky activities among adolescents. J Res Adolesc 2(4):317-330, 1992.

8SAMHSA. The Relationship Between Mental Health and Substance Abuse Among Adolescents.

9Ibid.

9Report to Congress on the Prevention and Treatment of Co-Occurring Substance Abuse Disorders and Mental Disorders, SAMHSA, 2002.

To change recipient’s name or fax number or to order a catalog of substance abuse publications, call SAMHSA’s National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI) at 1-800-729-6686, TDD 1-800-487-4889 (for the hearing impaired). See ncadi.samhsa.gov for previous Prevention Alerts online.

Prevention Alert is supported by the Center for Substance Abuse Prevention of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, and may be copied without permission with appropriate citation. For information about Prevention Alert, please contact CSAP by phone at 301-443-0375, or e-mail gorfalea@samhsa.gov.
HHS LogoU.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Center for Substance Abuse Prevention www.samhsa.gov

Youth violence may have peaked in the mid to late 1990’s however it remains a leading killer of young people. According to statistics released this past year by the Centers on Disease Control (CDC) more than 877,700 young people between the ages of 10 and 24 were injured in 2002, and approximately 1 in 13 were injured.

Each day over 15 youth are murdered in the United States. Shockingly, homicide remains the second leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24 overall. Only vehicular accidents claim more young lives each year.

The majority of the young people who are killed, 79%, are killed by fiarms. Areas of the country that have imposed limitations on firearms and ammunitions purchases have wittnessed a decline in both murders and suicides by young people.

Between 1994 and 1999, 172 students ages 5 to 18 were killed on or near school grounds or at school-related activities (Anderson et al. 2001).

More than 50% of all school-associated violent deaths occur at the beginning or end of the school day or during lunch (Anderson et al. 2001).

In a nationwide survey, 17% of students reported carrying a weapon (e.g., gun, knife, or club) on one or more days in the 30 days preceding the survey (Grunbaum et al. 2004).

Among students nationwide, 33% reported being in a physical fight one or more times in the 12 months preceding the survey (Grunbaum et al. 2004).

Data from a study of 8th and 9th grade students showed 25% had been victims of nonsexual dating violence and 8% had been victims of sexual dating violence (Foshee et al. 1996).

Nationwide, 9% of students reported being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the 12 months prior to being surveyed (Grunbaum et al. 2004).

Back to Top
Groups at Risk

Among 10 to 24 year olds, homicide is the leading cause of death for African-Americans, the second leading cause of death for Hispanics, and the third leading cause of death for American Indians, Alaskan Natives, and Asian Pacific Islanders (Anderson and Smith 2003).

Of the 5,486 homicides reported in the 10 to 24 age group in 2001, 85% (4,659) were males and 15% (827) were females (CDC 2004).

A nationwide survey found male students (41%) more likely to have been involved in a physical fight than female students (25%) in the 12 months preceding the survey (Grunbaum et al. 2004).

A nationwide survey found female students (12%) more likely than male students (6%) to have been forced to have sexual intercourse (Grunbaum et al. 2004).
Risk Factors

The first step in preventing youth violence is to identify and understand the risk factors. A risk factor is anything that increases the likelihood of a person suffering harm. Risk factors are not necessarily causes. Research has identified the following risk factors for youth violence (DHHS 2001; Lipsey and Derzon 1998):

Individual

* Attention deficits/hyperactivity
* Antisocial beliefs and attitudes
* History of early aggressive behavior
* Involvement with drugs, alcohol, or tobacco
* Early involvement in general offenses
* Low IQ
* Poor behavioral control
* Social cognitive or information-processing deficits

Family

* Authoritarian childrearing attitudes
* Exposure to violence and family conflict
* Harsh, lax, or inconsistent disciplinary practices
* Lack of involvement in the child’s life
* Low emotional attachment to parents or caregivers
* Low parental education and income
* Parental substance abuse and criminality
* Poor family functioning
* Poor monitoring and supervision of children

Peer/School

* Association with delinquent peers
* Involvement in gangs
* Social rejection by peers
* Lack of involvement in conventional activities
* Poor academic performance
* Low commitment to school and school failure

Neighborhood/Community

* Diminished economic opportunity
* High concentrations of poor residents
* High levels of transiency
* High levels of family disruption
* Low community participation
* Socially disorganized neighborhoods

Back to Top

Protective Factors

Recent research focuses on how people recover from adverse situations, bringing a new awareness of the importance protective factors have in preventing youth violence. Protective factors are individual or environmental aspects that buffer young people from the effects of risk. Identifying and understanding protective factors are equally as important as researching risk factors.

To date, protective factors have not been studied as extensively or with the same scientific rigor as risk factors. Most existing research is preliminary; however, studies propose the following protective factors (DHHS 2001):

Individual Protective Factors

* Intolerant attitude toward deviance
* High IQ
* Positive social orientation

Peer/School Protective Factors

* Commitment to school
* Involvement in social activities

It’s no secret that raising a child can be stressful. Yet, how parents handle it is crucial. Have you ever yelled at your child? Have you told him he’s dumb or useless? Maybe you’ve threatened to hit him. How about vowing to send him packing—perhaps to a home for wayward youth or to no place in particular?

If you’ve vented your anger in such ways, you’re not alone. A study of almost 1,000 parents showed that nearly all of them had used what the authors called “psychological aggression” to discipline children by the time they were 5 years old. This term includes a wide range of actions such as yelling and screaming, cursing and swearing, name calling, and threats of spanking.1

Nine in 10 parents said they had used such methods on children aged 2 or younger.2 Parents who spank their children tend to keep it up as the kids get older. Other research showed that more than half of youths in their early teens who were spanked as young children were still being spanked an average of eight times a year.3

Parents were psychologically aggressive toward their kids 22 times a year on average. As you might expect, yelling was the most common form of such discipline. Three in four parents said they had “shouted, yelled, or screamed” at their children in the past year. However, many parents used more severe methods:

* In the past year, one in two parents had threatened a spanking.
* One in three had used tactics like calling their kids “lazy” or “ dumb,” swearing at them, or threatening to send them away.
* One in four had “sworn or cursed” at their children.4

Older children and teens were most likely to receive the more severe forms of discipline such as cursing, name calling, and threats of being kicked out of the house.5

Okay, so parents can go too far with discipline. But isn’t it okay to yell once in a while? Is it really so bad to sternly promise a spanking if a child won’t follow the rules? After all, don’t these methods send a clear and direct message about poor conduct?

The study’s lead author, Dr. Murray A. Straus of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire in Durham, NH believes that it depends on how, and how often, hard-line discipline is used. The impact of screaming, cursing, or threats most likely depends on how often parents resort to these methods. Another part of the picture is whether parents condemn the child’s actions rather than putting down the child herself. Effects tend to vary based on how sensitive a child is.6

Children who have been treated too harshly may become insecure, destructive, angry, or withdrawn. Later in life, they may have troubled relationships or put themselves at risk of harm.7

Still, it’s not a matter of “How much is too much?” The key question is “Why do it at all?” According to Dr. Straus, harsh discipline simply isn’t needed. He urges parents to rely on other methods such as talking with the child. He notes that steady discipline is what gets children’s attention.8

So, stick with the true meaning of discipline—to teach. Be positive and create a warm and caring climate. Provide a good example by acting calmly, using manners, and showing respect and understanding. Set fair rules and consequences and give your child the freedom that’s right for his age. Instead of yelling, praise and reward good conduct and things done well. Be flexible and, especially with older children, listen, negotiate, and involve them in decisionmaking.9
Sources

1 Straus, Murray A., and Carolyn J. Field. November 2003. Psychological Aggression by American Parents: National Data on Prevalence, Chronicity, and Severity. Journal of Marriage and Family 65: 795-808
2 Ibid.
3 American Academy of Pediatrics. Guidance for Effective Discipline, last referenced 2/17/04.
4 Straus, Murray A., and Carolyn J. Field. November 2003. Psychological Aggression by American Parents: National Data on Prevalence, Chronicity, and Severity. Journal of Marriage and Family 65: 795-808
5 Ibid.
6 Ibid.
7 National Exchange Club Foundation. Emotional Abuse, last referenced 2/17/04.
8 Ibid.
9 American Humane Association. No Hitting: Abandoning Corporal Punishment for Better Forms of Discipline, last referenced 2/17/04.
Additional Resources

* American Academy of Pediatrics: Just The Facts: Effective Discipline
* Child Trends: Building a Better Teenager: A Summary of “What Works” in Adolescent Development
* North Carolina Cooperative Extension: Appropriate Limits for Young Children II
* Office of National Drug Control Policy: Parenting Skills: 21 Tips & Ideas To Help You Make a Difference

According to a study by the Society for Research in Child Development, family strife and depression are related to teen’s negative attitudes about interpersonal relationships.

The latest study looked at “attachment security” across 101 freshmen and sophmores. It turns out that teens who are faced with stressful situations such as family discord or mental health problems, like depression, may become more insecure. The result is that they can become distant and lose the opportunity for interpersonal relationships that can provide support.

According to the study’s authors, meeting the mental health requirements of teens and resolving family conflict could have positive long-term impacts on adolescents ability to develop and maintain positive social relationships.